mirror of
https://github.com/ConjureETS/DeathBook.git
synced 2026-03-24 04:20:58 +00:00
- Added the post statuses file
This commit is contained in:
parent
1f79a2b15e
commit
e75491c865
80
Assets/Resources/TextFiles/FacebookPosts.txt
Normal file
80
Assets/Resources/TextFiles/FacebookPosts.txt
Normal file
@ -0,0 +1,80 @@
|
|||||||
|
Got bored today so I dressed up in tan pants and a blue shirt then went into Best Buy and quit.
|
||||||
|
I'm cutting the sleeves off my Snuggie because it makes me look more badass.
|
||||||
|
Why is it when you run into a spider web, you suddenly turn into a ninja?
|
||||||
|
Don't believe all the rumours you hear about me, the truth is much worse.
|
||||||
|
You'd be amazed how often I´m wrong when people say guess what.
|
||||||
|
When a cop asks you, "Do you know why I pulled you over?" It is never a good idea to respond, "Because my tires look like donuts?"
|
||||||
|
Girls must buy $500 purses just to impress other girls. No guy has ever said "Bro, she was ugly...but that purse...
|
||||||
|
Every loaf of bread is a tragic story of grains that could've become beer, but didn't
|
||||||
|
I'm not saying I hate you, but I'd unplug your life support to charge my phone.
|
||||||
|
My doctor wrote me a prescription for dailysex but my girlfriend insists it says dyslexia.
|
||||||
|
If you think your wife has a sense of humor, try leaving a trail of rose pedals leading to a sink full of dirty dishes
|
||||||
|
I watched the deleted scenes from a porno last night. Turns out he ended up fixing the washing machine after all.
|
||||||
|
I wear a ski mask to bed so if there's a home invasion, the intruder will think I'm part of the team.
|
||||||
|
I've stopped drinking for good. I only drink for evil now.
|
||||||
|
I can not be held responsible for what my face does when you talk.
|
||||||
|
I'm that friend you have to explain to people before you introduce me... And apologize for after.
|
||||||
|
If you can afford a gym membership, you can afford deodorant.
|
||||||
|
I hate when homesless people shake their cup of coins at me. It's like yeah I know you have more money than me, no need to rub it in.
|
||||||
|
Jellyfish have survived here on Earth for 650 million years without brains. Great news for most of you.
|
||||||
|
I accidentally did yoga once when I couldn't reach the toilet paper.
|
||||||
|
"Lazy" is a strong word. I prefer to call it selective participation.
|
||||||
|
I'm so lonely I drive around town with a coffee cup glued to the roof of my car just so people will wave at me.
|
||||||
|
How the hell can Dora call herself an explorer if she only goes to places already on the map?
|
||||||
|
Do you think regular dogs see police dogs and think, “Oh crap! It’s the cops!”?
|
||||||
|
I just saw a guy take a bite of Kit Kat bar without breaking it apart first! Sir, we live in a society with rules, please adhere to them.
|
||||||
|
Gym Update: Not there.
|
||||||
|
If I ever sound inspriational, one of us is drunk.
|
||||||
|
Didn’t Selfie Sticks used to be called Friends?
|
||||||
|
You know that confused look that old people get when looking at new technology? I'm like that, but with salad.
|
||||||
|
If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, you’re drunk. Ducks don’t talk.
|
||||||
|
Diet tip: your pants will never get too tight if you don’t wear any.
|
||||||
|
Behind every good selfie is approximately 47 nearly identical pictures that didn’t make the cut.
|
||||||
|
I'm looking up in the sky and I have no idea which cloud has all my data
|
||||||
|
Ziploc's idea of how big a sandwich should be is very different than mine.
|
||||||
|
My dentist said I grind at night. I was like, ok stalker.
|
||||||
|
I don’t want to sound racist, but all stormtroopers look the same to me.
|
||||||
|
I'm surprised more killers haven't lured their victims into their houses by blind folding them and promises of being on a febreze commercial
|
||||||
|
You should be required to read a book for every 10 selfies you take.
|
||||||
|
It's friday, friday, gotta get down on Fridayyyyyyy!!!
|
||||||
|
What does the fox say? "Ring-ding-ding-ding-dingeringeding!"
|
||||||
|
Was your dad a boxer? Because you are a knockout. #pickupline
|
||||||
|
On a scale of 1-10, you're a 9, and I'm the 1 you need #pickupline
|
||||||
|
On a scale of 1 to 10, how married are you? #pickupline
|
||||||
|
Beauty catches the attention, but character catches the heart. #inspirational
|
||||||
|
Friday the 13th is still better than Monday the whatever.
|
||||||
|
Just got 30 minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor.
|
||||||
|
Exercise can add years to your life. For example, I just ran 2 miles and I now feel like I'm 82.
|
||||||
|
Sorry I liked your status, I was cleaning my phone.
|
||||||
|
We live in a world in where it is easier to get out of a marriage than a mobile-phone contract
|
||||||
|
You can't fix anything by refreshing your facebook, only by updating your life.
|
||||||
|
So I met an Egyptian, they walk just like us.
|
||||||
|
Sadly, the days of people using proper English are went.
|
||||||
|
I'm not anti-social, I'm anti-stupid.
|
||||||
|
I think Facebook is broken. I put up statuses and no one liked it even though I refreshed it a few times.
|
||||||
|
If I agreed with you we’d both be wrong.
|
||||||
|
I was blown away when I realised the word " OK " is a side ways person.
|
||||||
|
Copy this and paste it in your status if you know someone, or have heard of someone who knows someone..
|
||||||
|
Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.
|
||||||
|
I read Facebook for the pictures.
|
||||||
|
I just broke my record for most days lived.
|
||||||
|
I'd like to give a big shout-out to all my hard of hearing friends!
|
||||||
|
As the day goes on, coworkers start appearing more flammable.
|
||||||
|
So people buy cookie dough and bake it?.... What the hell?
|
||||||
|
Every loaf of bread is a tragic story of grains that could've become beer, but didn't.
|
||||||
|
I had a dream that I was a muffler last night. I woke up exhausted!
|
||||||
|
What's the difference between bad jokes and dad jokes? One letter!
|
||||||
|
Automatic doors make me feel like a Jedi
|
||||||
|
is trying to decide ... laundry today or naked tomorrow
|
||||||
|
Organized people are just too lazy to look for things.
|
||||||
|
If history repeats itself, I'm totally getting a dinosaur.
|
||||||
|
Afterism (n) - A concise, clever statement you don't think of until too late
|
||||||
|
Sometimes it takes me a full 8 hours to get nothing done.
|
||||||
|
Waldo’s mom must be worried sick.
|
||||||
|
MIDDLE EAST: How can we stop ISIS? EUROPE: How can we save our economy? AMERICA: What color is this dress?!
|
||||||
|
Does the 5 second rule apply to soup? Please answer quickly!
|
||||||
|
I just ate what I thought was a feta cheese crumble from my salad off my shirt. Turns out it was deodorant. So how's your day going?
|
||||||
|
Is it the S or the C that's silent in scent?
|
||||||
|
You think seven years is bad for breaking a mirror? Try breaking a condom.
|
||||||
|
"If you liked it, then you should have put a ring on it" lalalalala!!!
|
||||||
|
"Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But here's my number, So call me, maybe!"
|
||||||
8
Assets/Resources/TextFiles/FacebookPosts.txt.meta
Normal file
8
Assets/Resources/TextFiles/FacebookPosts.txt.meta
Normal file
@ -0,0 +1,8 @@
|
|||||||
|
fileFormatVersion: 2
|
||||||
|
guid: e9b04f7577cb6a54abbbb2f8e034bfbd
|
||||||
|
timeCreated: 1439770864
|
||||||
|
licenseType: Free
|
||||||
|
TextScriptImporter:
|
||||||
|
userData:
|
||||||
|
assetBundleName:
|
||||||
|
assetBundleVariant:
|
||||||
Loading…
x
Reference in New Issue
Block a user